Youth Ministry
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The Problem No One Wants To Talk About
The Pornography Paradox:
Porn Is Simultaneously More Criticized and More Popular Than Ever
There are so many problems with porn; it’s hard to pick just one.
Some people think it sounds up-tight and old fashioned to make such a big deal about pornography. But a pastor, I am deeply concerned about this problem that none of us wants to talk about. I am convinced it is doing far more to damage our minds, our relationships, and even our ability to enjoy sex than than we realize. We are talking about the potential for life long misery. Just this week I talked with a man (not from our church) that struggles with pornography. He pointed to his head and said “The images are in here forever. I have been emotionally distant from my wife for years because of it and I am racked with guilt. It doesn’t go away.” For either an audio or video podcast on this topic, google “Surf At Your Own Risk John Ortberg.” The following is from an article that was written by Halee Gray Scott in Christianity Today.[i]
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This spring, Utah became the first state to declare pornography a public health crisis, calling on businesses and educators to protect children from it. Around the same time, a Time Magazine cover story story reported that porn causes erectile dysfunction in young men whose minds have marinated in X-rated clips from the time they were teenagers.
Pornography trains the user to seek more extreme sexual experiences to receive the same satisfying flood of dopamine. It’s what researchers call the Coolidge effect—the prospect of a new sexual partner excites males (and sometimes females) so much that normal sexual activity becomes boring by comparison.
Time focused on how porn usage prevents couples from having healthy sex lives. That’s only the beginning of a troubling and growing amount of research and trends. We’re learning more and more about the lasting impact of living in a world wired to a porn-saturated Internet.
When I was a teenager in the 1990s, when the Internet was in its infancy and all cell phones were “dumb,” churches’ major concern regarding sexual matters was premarital sex. In 1993, teens had to steal magazines or VHS tapes to view porn; today, all they need is an Internet connection. While the evidence continues to reveal negative effects of this multibillion-dollar industry, few secular commentators dare to say what many of us see: our porn problem is a moral problem, with drastic consequences for individuals and communities.
Studies have linked porn consumption to depression and higher drug and alcohol consumption. Researchers in Germany found that men who watch porn showed a weaker connection between the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and the part of the brain involved in memory storage and information processing. A wave of “pornified” advertisements, depicting women in erotic poses selling everyday products, lead both men and women to view women’s bodies differently—and certainly not more humanly.
Aside from the neurological consequences, science has unpacked a plethora of sociological effects. Pornography negatively shapes romantic relationships; one study found that women in relationships with men who use porn report being less happy than those with men who abstain. Research in a dozen countries showed that men who viewed pornography when they were boys were less likely to form healthy relationships and more likely to think sexual harassment was acceptable.
At the same time that researchers are unearthing porn’s tolls, Americans have grown more tolerant of it. According to an extensive study conducted by Barna Group, only half of US adults and one-third of teens and young adults thought pornography was “wrong.” Teens and young adults believe not recycling is more immoral than using porn. Barna found porn use is up among Christians, too. Some 41 percent of Christian men ages 13–24 and 23 percent of Christian men ages 25 and up said they “frequently” used porn. (The figures were 5 percent and 13 percent for Christian women in those age groups.)
Porn isn’t just an individual moral problem. It strikes to the heart of what it means to be human.
Porn advocates argue that pornography feeds our innate and uncontrollable instincts, and that healthy adults should explore those instincts freely. Christians know better. We are right to exhort each other to make every thought captive to Christ and to live into our new life in him.
[i] Reprinted by permission from Christianity Today July/August 2016.
How can you believe in God ?!
I used to say “I am not religious.”
Now I say “Everyone is religious.”
You already are religious – and so is everyone else.
Being “religious” can’t just mean believing in God.
After all, you don’t need to believe in God to be a Buddhist,
but surely Buddhism is one of the great religions of the world.
Whether you are an atheist, Buddhist, agnostic, Jew, Moslem, Hindu, Christian, or a “Nothing” –
you already have ideas about what is true about the world.
You already place your faith in something or some ideas or someone.
For example, you might believe the universe will exist tomorrow
and that it is wrong to bully other people.
Those are two parts of your “Word View” – how you view the world.
Religion is just another word for “World View.”
And since everyone has opinions about the world,
everyone is already religious – even if they don’t think they are.
There is no magic divide between religious and non-religious people –
there are just people.
The question is – What do you believe is true,
and who or what do you put your faith in ?
Being a Christian is not about believing
your religion is right and everyone else is wrong…
Christianity says that all of us get some things wrong
and that the only one who gets everything right is God.
Christianity is not about saying you have all the answers,
it’s about saying that God has all the answers.
Think of it this way…
Everyone is standing somewhere. From time to time we may move around
– at one time we may be standing over there
and at another time we may be standing over here –
but everyone is standing somewhere.
Christianity is choosing to stand close to Jesus, choosing to stand with Jesus.
It’s not so much saying that you think other people are wrong
as much as saying that you think Jesus is right.
It’s not claiming you have everything figured out and will never change your
opinion, it’s saying you trust Jesus and you want to be loyal to him.
You have to stand somewhere.
It is not close minded to stand close to Jesus,
It’s not that you don’t want to be open to other peoples ideas,
you just choose to stand with Jesus while you do.
But what about Science ?
Any one who thinks there is a conflict
between real science and real Christianity
either doesn’t understand Science, or Christianity, or both.
The fact that the head of the human genome project
and many other great scientists through out history were and are Christians
makes this rather obvious.
Christians believe that Science helps us understand the natural world
but that by definition science is limited to knowledge about
the physical world.
Thus it provides only a subset of what can be known.
It can’t “prove” some of the most important parts of life – like falling in love,
loyal friendships, or our meaning and purpose in the world.
The right equation is not Christianity OR Science,
it is Christianity PLUS Science.
Why do Christians think that Jesus
and Christianity are different than all the other options ?
Most religions of the world are primarily about Good Advice.
“Do this. Don’t do that.”
Christianity is primarily about Good News.
It says that the God who made everybody on the planet and loves everybody on the planet
(regardless of what they call themselves)
came to earth to offer us a new way to live
not based on our ideas but based on his.
Jesus intentionally said things that would make him unpopular.
He was especially unpopular with people who wanted to be in charge
and people who were self-righteous.
( If you think you are fine just the way you are – that means you are declaring
yourself righteous – i.e. you are self-righteous ! )
Jesus says that all of us are precious
but that all of us do wrong things over and over again.
Doing wrong is like digging a hole – if you keep going and going,
you can dig a hole so big that you can get yourself in,
but you can’t get yourself out.
Jesus paid the price not only to get us out of the hole now
but also to carry us with him both in this life and after this life.
If a guy lost in the desert had no news of any hope he might give up and die.
But if he knew that a plane had already taken off
and was on it’s way to save him,
that good news would change everything for him.
Christians believe the plane is already on it’s way – Jesus has already risen
from the dead – and that good news changes the way we look at life.
But it can do more than that. It can change us. It can change our lives now and it can change our forever. If you are interested in finding out more about Christianity, please contact our church office and we will send you resources, or line up someone you can talk to – whatever will be most helpful to you.
The world wide church is a beautiful tapestry of people from all walks of life who have discovered that there is more here than atoms. There is a Maker of Heaven and Earth who knows you, loves you, and has a calling on your life. To find out more about what our church believes, click here